Fear

Shadows     Even the wind was somehow hot and thick that June evening. Standing in front of the old bowling alley, my favorite old dirty Misfits t-shirt glued to my back with sweat, the oppressive night air seemed to somehow diminish all thought and reasoning, almost as if these record high temperatures were melting my brain. Finally, after enduring this for hours, I decided that I’d had enough and was going to do something...

I couldn’t see the snakes. When they came at night, Puffing and hissing around my bed. I slept on the ground Without a light Other than the stars. Glowing softly over my head. Beauty above. Death below. To sleep was an act of faith. Closing your eyes When well you know That fangs are coming. And sooner or later, you have to pee, Wearing chains.     Such a life does something to you. It...

Untethered, I float Buffeted by the winds of life Never feeling grounded

Crunchy Pudding             “I’m so damned hungry.” I mutter to myself which makes me smile just a little bit. Momma used to always ask me why I had conversations with myself. To which I would always smirk and reply “If I want an intelligent answer to my question, why not ask a genius?” I have always been sort of full of myself, even at a young age. Somehow, I could take a problem and create...

The Devil Wins My Tears Once Again   You speak but your eyes tell the truth Deceit and lies spew forth from your mouth Hidden behind the walls of complements Forever speaking but never honestly My pain wells up behind a mask of caring My tears held back for none to see I silently carry the burden of Love Craving only Truth and Honesty from my partner in life I starve for Love’s sweet embrace...

Sitting inside a dark room, Lighting home-made candles for light. Igniting up a roaring fireplace, Using old papers and wood we found last night. Not for smores or happiness, But for solely warmth alone. Blankets piled on top of blankets, Simply to quiet stifling cold stone. Reading by the fire, Or by using the moonlight. Darkness and the frigid cold, Were my only friends at night. We got the big food stamp box, It’s like...

There are fears lurking in the recesses of my soul darkening my light Fear of rejection, abandonment, failure. Time after time I pull them up to be incinerated by the fire of God’s love To make room for the Living Waters A river of peace There is no fear in love.

How long can you go through the motions until the heart catches up? How long can you put up a brave face until it cracks? How long can you hold back tears until the dam breaks? How long can you be silent until a scream erupts? How long does it take for a heart to break?

There is an elephant in the room Silence threatens Like an omen of doom   My mind fills with dark imaginations As unspoken words Call out for speculations   Reality starts to disappear And rational thought Is replaced by fear   I fight the urge to run away The silence breaks And I see the light of day.

The cave is dark And tunnels deep The path uneven Often steep With many promises to keep To live, an act of courage A day, a week A month, a year Time for celebration.   -Els W 3/20/23