Trauma

Shadows     Even the wind was somehow hot and thick that June evening. Standing in front of the old bowling alley, my favorite old dirty Misfits t-shirt glued to my back with sweat, the oppressive night air seemed to somehow diminish all thought and reasoning, almost as if these record high temperatures were melting my brain. Finally, after enduring this for hours, I decided that I’d had enough and was going to do something...

I couldn’t see the snakes. When they came at night, Puffing and hissing around my bed. I slept on the ground Without a light Other than the stars. Glowing softly over my head. Beauty above. Death below. To sleep was an act of faith. Closing your eyes When well you know That fangs are coming. And sooner or later, you have to pee, Wearing chains.     Such a life does something to you. It...

Love Remains I’ve heard it said… That even if a man came back from the dead We still wouldn’t listen to a word that he spoke We’d tell stories about him around fire and smoke We’d call him a ghost So we’d haunt ourselves with old memories instead And leave his ghost to grow lonely inside his own head   I once knew a man They cut off his hand Buried it in the African...

Crunchy Pudding             “I’m so damned hungry.” I mutter to myself which makes me smile just a little bit. Momma used to always ask me why I had conversations with myself. To which I would always smirk and reply “If I want an intelligent answer to my question, why not ask a genius?” I have always been sort of full of myself, even at a young age. Somehow, I could take a problem and create...

The Devil Wins My Tears Once Again   You speak but your eyes tell the truth Deceit and lies spew forth from your mouth Hidden behind the walls of complements Forever speaking but never honestly My pain wells up behind a mask of caring My tears held back for none to see I silently carry the burden of Love Craving only Truth and Honesty from my partner in life I starve for Love’s sweet embrace...

Misrepresented. The artistic renderings Had cast me as a saint. Separation Makes the heart grow fonder. But it doesn’t teach you how to paint A man you never really saw. The one that left never came back. I did.   No firetrucks came To put out my burning life. It was consumed like wood, hay and stubble. Deconstructed By hellfire missiles. As I sort through the rubble, At the bottom of that pile Is a...

I’m untouchable. People think my shadow Has PTSD land mines. They keep their distance, Heads down, Safe behind the line Of yellow Traumatic Hazard Tape. No one wants to get blown to hell. Look what it did to me.   Life gave me chains To wear on my ankles. I broke them and made wind chimes. They sing how the breeze doesn’t blow back But forward. That love always rhymes. I have my storms. Depressions...

Sitting inside a dark room, Lighting home-made candles for light. Igniting up a roaring fireplace, Using old papers and wood we found last night. Not for smores or happiness, But for solely warmth alone. Blankets piled on top of blankets, Simply to quiet stifling cold stone. Reading by the fire, Or by using the moonlight. Darkness and the frigid cold, Were my only friends at night. We got the big food stamp box, It’s like...

There are fears lurking in the recesses of my soul darkening my light Fear of rejection, abandonment, failure. Time after time I pull them up to be incinerated by the fire of God’s love To make room for the Living Waters A river of peace There is no fear in love.

Anger is the wall I hide behind when I am wounded Silence is the healing balm as I pull out the arrows one by one Solitude is my comfort.   The wall begins to crumble as I heal My heart is finding words when I regain my sense of worth Forgiveness is my peace