Grief

Shadows     Even the wind was somehow hot and thick that June evening. Standing in front of the old bowling alley, my favorite old dirty Misfits t-shirt glued to my back with sweat, the oppressive night air seemed to somehow diminish all thought and reasoning, almost as if these record high temperatures were melting my brain. Finally, after enduring this for hours, I decided that I’d had enough and was going to do something...

Crunchy Pudding             “I’m so damned hungry.” I mutter to myself which makes me smile just a little bit. Momma used to always ask me why I had conversations with myself. To which I would always smirk and reply “If I want an intelligent answer to my question, why not ask a genius?” I have always been sort of full of myself, even at a young age. Somehow, I could take a problem and create...

The Devil Wins My Tears Once Again   You speak but your eyes tell the truth Deceit and lies spew forth from your mouth Hidden behind the walls of complements Forever speaking but never honestly My pain wells up behind a mask of caring My tears held back for none to see I silently carry the burden of Love Craving only Truth and Honesty from my partner in life I starve for Love’s sweet embrace...

Sitting inside a dark room, Lighting home-made candles for light. Igniting up a roaring fireplace, Using old papers and wood we found last night. Not for smores or happiness, But for solely warmth alone. Blankets piled on top of blankets, Simply to quiet stifling cold stone. Reading by the fire, Or by using the moonlight. Darkness and the frigid cold, Were my only friends at night. We got the big food stamp box, It’s like...

How long can you go through the motions until the heart catches up? How long can you put up a brave face until it cracks? How long can you hold back tears until the dam breaks? How long can you be silent until a scream erupts? How long does it take for a heart to break?

There is a stranger in my house He wears your face Speaks with your voice And smiles with your eyes But you did not come home You lie buried in distant sands. They sent me a box with memories and regrets Wet with tears And you are traveling in the twilight Gathering the pieces of long-lost treasures Until you find peace.   -Els W 12/24/2023

The fragile connection is broken The silence between us is heavy with anger and pain There is no whisper, no touch No kiss that can break this silence The tears have to flow The pain endured The words cannot be unheard They speak loudly from the pit of my stomach Speaking is silver Silence is gold Sometimes things are better left unspoken Some words are like daggers in the heart I am bleeding But I...

I am not a poet I don't know how to string words together in a way that even death sounds beautiful.   I am full of disjointed phrases that when you put them together you want to look away.   We danced too early Sometimes my sadness leaks out for no apparent reason The broken pieces of my heart have been put together again but there are pieces missing And sometimes the missing pieces are...

There is a silence that is deeper than the absence of sound. It is the silence of closed hearts and of hope deferred. It is the silence of tears falling, unseen. It is a black hole that sucks the life out of every experience. The name of that silence is despair.   -Els W, June 2024.

I’ve never sat well on a pedestal. My glassware’s always been flawed. I was a chipped vase, tossed out into the waves. Some call it the sea of despair. I don’t know. All oceans have their storms.   Washed up again, I’d been transformed. I am sea-glass, beautifully beaten, battered, reformed! The sea doesn’t discard refuse on the shore. She gives gifts, not garbage. Those broken shells and seaweed are the stuff of life.  ...